Truth: Sex sells.
Truth: There’s no such thing as too much sex or too much chocolate. (okay, maybe that’s just my truth)
Question: Is there such a thing as too many sex scenes in a book?
I asked that question once on Facebook and the only thing I learned is that everyone had an opinion on the topic. After I sifted out the sex addicts and the prudes, the general consensus seemed to be that as long as the sex fit the story and the characters, then there wasn’t such a thing as too much sex. Isn’t that the way it is in real life, too?
Confession: I was very very scared to write my first sex scene.
In fact, I was so scared to write a sex scene that I talked it over with a writer friend of mine. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: I’m having trouble writing a sex scene.
Her: I’ve never written one.
Her: It scares me.
Me: Me, too! I’m afraid I’ll write it out in detail and people will read it and laugh at me. Like I’ll find out that I’ve been doing it wrong my whole life or something.
Her: That’s what I’m scared of!
Me: I’m afraid I’ll find out that I’m a freak or a perv.
Her: You are a freak and a perv.
Me: You say that like it’s a good thing.
Her: When it comes to sex it can be a good thing.
Me: How much detail am I supposed to write? Or do I write it all in metaphors?
Her: Like the waves crash up on the beach?
Me: Why is water always a sex metaphor?
Her: I think it’s because women are all scared of the going dry thing. Water metaphors put them at ease.
Me: Am I supposed to name the body parts when I write about sex?
Her: I can’t even say the word penis without giggling.
Me: Peni are funny, if you ask me. But that’s a lesbian’s point of view.
Her: I’m straight and I think they’re hilarious.
Me: Do I actually write the word (whispering) clit? Do I say ‘she touched her wet (whispering) pussy?’
Her: You whisper it like you’re saying (whispering low) cancer.
Me: I have to write a first person sex scene. I actually have to write several of them. How am I going to get over this scared thing?
Her: Just write it and let me read it and I’ll tell you if it makes me hot or not.
Me: (thinking) Hmmmm…. okay.
Two Days Later
Me: Well, what did you think?
Her: So that’s how lesbians do it.
Me: Shut yer pie-hole. Just tell me if it’s any good or not.
Her: I’ll tell you this much. I read it to my husband and he’s been jumping me for two days now.
So, my advice on writing sex scenes? Write something that makes you want to touch yourself. Write your fantasy. Write it as detailed or metaphoric as you want. Write as many sex scenes as you want and then write one more.
And, don’t whisper it. Shout it!
(and I’m not trying to kiss her butt or anything, but if you want to read some reallyreally hot sex scenes, read anything by Karin Kallmaker. They call her the “Queen of Romance” but I think she’s the “Queen of Hot Sex.” Okay, maybe I am kissing her butt just a little, but she does write some hot sex.)