Making lesbians happy – one book at a time

N’Awlins Vacation

Saxon, Emma and I just got back from our New Orleans/Biloxi vacation.  I fell in love with N’Awlins, but  thought I might share a few tidbits that are not printed in any brochure:

1. Bourbon Street smells like vomit

2. Almost everything in the Flea Market is made in Nepal or Thailand.

3. The guy who stops you on Royal Street and shines your shoes with a dirty rag expects you to give him money

4. Riding the streetcar is fun until you end up with your nose stuck in the armpit of a stranger for six miles

5. The curators in the N.O. Museum of Modern Art hate people.  They especially hate people who want to look at the art.  They especially hate touristy people who get too close to the art and set off alarms.  Twice.

6.  People in New Orleans who have jobs in the service industry hate their jobs, hate their lives and hate you, too.  Well, actually maybe they just hate you.

7.  Bourbon Street smells like vomit.

8. French beignets are the same thing as Indian frybread except they’re square.

9. A two egg omelette costs $9 and doesn’t even come with hashbrowns or biscuits.

10. All the natives sound like Harry Connick, Jr. and wear those old man hats just like his.

11.  The Garden District is beautiful but if you try to walk from one side to the other you will have blisters on your feet and you will have to stop at Lady Footlocker on Canal Street and spend a hundred dollars on a new pair of Nikes.

12. Fancy hotels don’t have fridges or coffee makers in the rooms.   Saxon thinks it’s gross to have to make coffee in the bathroom anyway.

13.  It is possible to get sunburned on the tops of your feet even if the sky is overcast and you’re under a beach umbrella.

14.  Don’t leave your hotel room until the toilet STOPS flushing because it is possible for that little hose in the tank to shoot water out of the tank and if you leave to go to the beach for two hours when you get back the entire room will be flooded.

15.  IHOP food is good no matter what town you’re in and the omelettes come with biscuits, gravy, hashbrowns, bacon, sausage and pancakes for only $6.

16. There is a town in Louisiana named Translyvania and there is nobody around during daylight hours.

17. All in all, I loved New Orleans and fell in love with Zydeco, poor boy sandwiches, Blue Dog, wrought iron, street musicians and the native artists along Jackson Square.

 

Comments on: "N’Awlins Vacation" (8)

  1. I remember #1 and #7 as being true. Yep, I surely do.

    Glad you had a great time!

  2. Thank you for your perspective on NO. I have never been so I will take your advice on several of those things when I do go. You did have some amazing pictures!!!

    ~traci

  3. sara marx said:

    Neglected sewer systems, tap shoes made of Nikes and beer caps, a real step and fetch it town nowhere near this actual century. I used to do radio in NOLA, and now I go there every chance I get. Two things about living in Naples: 1) we’d never get lucky enough to find an omlette that cheap (!) and 2) sometimes when it’s rained hard, outside a seafood joint, the smell of Cambier Park toilets wafts over and for a moment, it smells like New Orleans! But that’s about it. Then it’s back to stuffed shirts and botoxed faces…

  4. There are some things about N’awlins that just keep you coming back!

  5. charlotte said:

    what is a poor boy?

    • Charlotte, it’s a sandwich. Also called a Po’ Boy. Mine wasn’t very good, but I could tell how it could be. Mine was: French bread, mayo, tomato, lettuce and five pieces of fried shrimp. It could probably be really good eatin’ in a different restaurant than the one I was at. and I make better red beans and rice and that what Saxon got in the same restaurant.

      • phyllis said:

        If your ever back in Nola you should go to somethin else cafe on Conti street. They have huge Po boys with 12 pieces of butterfly shrimp and bread puddin’. YES! service industry employees hate their job and their life because they get paid next to nothing in a town that costs an arm and a leg. I’ve lived on the Mississippi Coast for almost 20 yrs now and worked all over including Nola and I’m glad that in spit of its pitfalls you still found the charm.

      • Not only did I love it, but today I am going to try my own hand at making a catfish po’ boy!

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