Making lesbians happy – one book at a time

Tonight (April 16th) Saxon and I will be appearing on The Cocktail Hour radio show with hosts Andy and The Rev! I’m very excited about this opportunity, but also am a little scared. You see, Saxon is… how do I say this?… You know those little mechanisms in your brain that filter what you think and what actually comes out of your mouth? Saxon doesn’t have one. She is a self-proclaimed S.U.P. (Socially Unacceptable Person)

So, I decided to employ a technique that worked wonders with my daughter when she began school as a kindergartener. I made her a list of rules to follow. If she followed these rules all week – without breaking any – she got a prize.
So, here are the rules I made for Saxon:

(Saxon, please print these rules and tape them to the surface of your desk)

Rules of Radio Etiquette

1. Keep your hands to yourself
2. No biting
3. No saying the F word.
4. Keep your pants on
5. Don’t talk about poop
6. No licking (this is generally a good thing, but not during the taping of the show)
7. Blow your nose in a tissue – not on your shirt
8. No name calling
9. No farting
10. No burping

If you follow all these rules, I will take you to the Dollar Store and you can pick out any one item of your choice!
Love,
Layce

Comments on: "Saxon’s Rules of Radio Etiquette" (9)

  1. Good rules. I like them.

  2. Layce,

    If we followed that list of rules, we wouldn’t have gotten through a single episode! And we strongly encourage number 3.

    What do you expect from a show that regularly plays the game “Who Would You F*ck?” Also, it was painful for me to put that * in the middle of my favorite F word.

    This is one place where Saxon can feel free to be as socially unacceptible as she wants. It’ll fall to you to let us know when she does the things on the list that we can’t hear.

  3. Sheri Campbell said:

    Now I really must tune in to see how well Saxon keeps to the rules. She may have a nervous breakdown. Good Blog. Hope Imma is on the mend.

  4. gova rubio said:

    1. if it’s hot, take off your shirt
    2. if it’s cold, ask your girlfriend to take off her shirt -reasoning your hands work better than a blouse.
    3. fuck not saying fuck. that’s fucking ridiculous.
    4.eat beans and cabbage. It’s an ice breaker.
    5.remind girlfriend how much you like it when she tells you her favorite memory. DO NOT under any circumstance let on that this is how you get her to stop ‘fixing’, you.
    6.when she finds out (she always does) have a good air mattress ready and plenty of bug spray.
    7. sleeping outside is good for you. (repeat until belief sets in)
    8. keep 1-800-Apologize set to #2 on your speed dial.AKA-flowers/jewelry/candy
    9. kneepads. (don’t act like you don’t know why!)
    10. You’re sorry. You’re wrong. You’ll never do it again. Beer. You’re sorry, you’re wrong, etc..more beer…repeat and rinse.

  5. Rules are made to be broken. Go Team Saxon! 🙂
    (love your list, Gova.)

  6. Printing out that list, Gova.

  7. […] episode of Conversations at the Bar. Saxon didn’t say much but Layce did lay down some pretty strict rules for her to follow so that may have had something to do with it. The rest of us let the F Bomb fly […]

  8. Congrats! This episode took first place in the Conversations at the Bar category in the Best of 2013 survey!

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