There’s been a lot of brouhaha lately among Lesfic writers about lesbian themed erotica/porn invading the Amazon top 100 bestseller list in the category of lesbian fiction.
(Just so you know what brouhaha is – it’s a little more than a whoop-tee-do and a little less than a ballyhoo. It’s a hubbub but with more anger.)
Anyway, it seems that Lesfic writers don’t like their work being lumped into the same category as erotica or porn. I can totally understand that. It might make me surly if “The Devil Eats Vagina” or “The Haunted Vagina” (real titles) were outselling my serious work that took me a year to create. But, I think maybe there is something to be learned here. A quick perusal of the top 100 shows that there are several bestselling titles that all contain the same word: VAGINA.
Obviously, vagina is a powerful word. It sells books. It sells LOTSA books. The formula is simple: VAGINA = SALES = MONEY.
Who doesn’t want to make more money? I think even us altruistic Lesfic writers want to make more money. Right?
I propose that by simply incorporating this one word into our titles we can rise to the top of the bestselling list. I know that Katherine V. Forrest’s “Curious Wine” holds a special place in our Lesfic history, but how about re-releasing it as “Curious Vagina”? It would become an instant bestseller and, perhaps, reach a whole new audience! (What’s the V stand for in her name anyway?)
How about Lee Lynch’s classic “The Toothpick House” becoming “The VaginaPick House?” (This sounded better than “The ToothVagina House” which could be construed as belonging in the horror category.)
But let’s not stop there. I think the re-working of classic literary titles could benefit from this marketing ploy as well. Why not give Dickens a twist with “A Tale of Two Vaginas”? I know I’d want to read that one! In fact, this could be a great way to get the younger generation interested in the classics.
Off the top of my head:
Uncle Tom’s Vagina
The Importance of Being Vagina
The Lion, the Witch, and the Vagina
The Three Vaginateers
All Quiet on the Western Vagina
How Green Was My Vagina
Tarzan of the Vaginas
FrankenVagina (Okay, this one could totally be re-written to Victor Frankenstein re-animating a dead vagina. “I’ve created a monster!”)
The War of the Vagina Worlds
Around the Vagina in 80 Days
The Vagina Whisperer
Okay, Okay, you get the picture. But let’s be honest with ourselves. Wouldn’t you be curious to pick up one of these books?
(I’d like to beg forgiveness from the great Katherine V. Forrest and Lee Lynch for the use of their names. I hope they realize this blog was all in good fun. I wrote it tongue in cheek. Or was it tongue in vagina?)
Be sure to check out my latest book being released May 14th, “A Perfect Romance Vagina.”
My short story “Save the Last Vagina for Me” is available at Bella Books for only .99!