Making lesbians happy – one book at a time

Confession time.  I have this weird thing where I don’t like to pay admission prices. I mean, I’ll pay to see a movie, but I balk at paying to go into a historic monument or a national park or look at a giant ball of twine or whatever.

Saxon makes fun of me.  I think she secretly agrees with me on the whole thing, but likes to blame the cheapness on me.  I am not cheap.  I am frugal. There’s a difference.

There’s an old civil war fort near here.  It’s in the town of Ft. Gibson.  And, yes, the name of the fort is Fort Gibson.  When Saxon first moved here I took her to see the fort.  We walked up to the gate and there was sign that said for us to deposit five dollars per person into the box before we went inside.  FIVE DOLLARS!  Five dollars to walk around and look at a bunch of giant sized Lincoln logs glued together? Frickin’ ridiculous.

I wouldn’t let Saxon go inside.  I walked around the outside of the fort and found a little peeky hole in the logs where you could look inside.  “There,” I said, “You can see perfectly well what an old civil war fort looks like through this peeky hole and it’s free.”


The same thing happened once when we went on an adventure to Arkansas.  There was a store that advertised the world’s biggest rock or some such stuff.  We stopped to go look at it, but when I found out the store owner wanted us to pay five bucks to see a rock, I snapped.  “Five bucks!  Isn’t that a little excessive?”

The store owner shook his head.  “It’s the world’s biggest rock,” he said.


I walked outside, picked up a pebble, came back in and held out my palm.  “See that rock?” I asked.

“Yep,” the owner said.

“That’s the world’s smallest rock.  You owe me five bucks for looking at it.”

He spit tobacco into a dixie cup and squinted one eye at me.   “Nope,” he said.

“We’re not going to pay,” I said. I grabbed Emma and Saxon by the shirt collars and pulled them out of the store.

Saxon and Emma pouted all the way home, but I had my limits.  And paying to see stuff that we should be able to see for free was one of those limits. After all, the best things in life are free.

….By the way, you owe me five bucks for reading this blog.

Start your week with a laugh! And you can borrow it for FREE!

(prime and unlimited members)


Comments on: "The Best Things In Life Are Free" (9)

  1. You owe me $5 for the paypal transfer fee.

  2. Sheri Campbell said:

    I agree totally Layce. My thing is not tipping the 15 or 20 percent when the service is really bad from the server. This is service from the server, not the cook or others who are in control of food, just the server. Example: not getting you silverware after delivering your meal or not providing your drink until after getting your meal. Asking about dessert while you just started your entree, most likely because they want your table for waiting customers.

  3. Oh don’t get me started on waiters! lol

  4. I bought your book! You’re paid in full.

  5. Things I Hate to Pay For:

    $29 every year to hook my car up to a computer so they can tell me that I need $1000 worth of repairs to pass inspection.

    Full price for a BK Whopper when I get it without the meat. (This one may sound odd to you, but I haven’t intentionally eaten meat in 30 years and there’s not a lot of fast food you can get that is or can be made meat-free. So I end up paying full price for a BK Whopper meatless cheese sandwich. Ugh! Needless to say (but I’ll say it anyway,) I don’t do this very often. And while I appreciate BK’s efforts to sell a veggie burger, it sucks!)

    $8 for WiFi on a one hour Southwest flight. No Way!

    Bottled water. Most of it is tap water and now they add vitamins and crap I don’t want. And then there’s the bottle…

    Things I Don’t Mind Paying For:

    $1.60 for a 1 hour and 15 minute ride on the light rail from BWI airport to the end of the line. THIS is a bargain. A taxi costs $95 for the same ride (although a taxi is faster.)

    Any book written by Layce Gardner and/or Saxon Bennett. You always get your money’s worth and feel much better for having laughed your ass off.

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