Confession time. I have this weird thing where I don’t like to pay admission prices. I mean, I’ll pay to see a movie, but I balk at paying to go into a historic monument or a national park or look at a giant ball of twine or whatever.
Saxon makes fun of me. I think she secretly agrees with me on the whole thing, but likes to blame the cheapness on me. I am not cheap. I am frugal. There’s a difference.
There’s an old civil war fort near here. It’s in the town of Ft. Gibson. And, yes, the name of the fort is Fort Gibson. When Saxon first moved here I took her to see the fort. We walked up to the gate and there was sign that said for us to deposit five dollars per person into the box before we went inside. FIVE DOLLARS! Five dollars to walk around and look at a bunch of giant sized Lincoln logs glued together? Frickin’ ridiculous.
I wouldn’t let Saxon go inside. I walked around the outside of the fort and found a little peeky hole in the logs where you could look inside. “There,” I said, “You can see perfectly well what an old civil war fort looks like through this peeky hole and it’s free.”
The same thing happened once when we went on an adventure to Arkansas. There was a store that advertised the world’s biggest rock or some such stuff. We stopped to go look at it, but when I found out the store owner wanted us to pay five bucks to see a rock, I snapped. “Five bucks! Isn’t that a little excessive?”
The store owner shook his head. “It’s the world’s biggest rock,” he said.
I walked outside, picked up a pebble, came back in and held out my palm. “See that rock?” I asked.
“Yep,” the owner said.
“That’s the world’s smallest rock. You owe me five bucks for looking at it.”
He spit tobacco into a dixie cup and squinted one eye at me. “Nope,” he said.
“We’re not going to pay,” I said. I grabbed Emma and Saxon by the shirt collars and pulled them out of the store.
Saxon and Emma pouted all the way home, but I had my limits. And paying to see stuff that we should be able to see for free was one of those limits. After all, the best things in life are free.
….By the way, you owe me five bucks for reading this blog.
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