Making lesbians happy – one book at a time

My name is Hazel. I am a human bean. I am also a lezbean.

Hazel Bean

I have a daughter named Lulu. She is also a human bean.

Lulu Bean

 

When Lulu was five she asked me, “Mom, how did I get to be a human bean? Did I grow in your tummy?”

“No,” I said.

“Did a stork bring me?”

“No.”

“Did Santa Claus bring me?”

“No,” I answered.

“Then how did I grow?”

“Well… it’s a long story. Are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Yes!”

“A long, long time ago before you were a human bean, I lived in a magical city. It was called The City of Angels.

Hollywood

And in this city there was a dream factory. I worked at the factory putting dreams on celluloid so everybody in the world could see them.

movie camera

I lived in the city with Tini. Tini Bean wasn’t her real name. She loved martinis more than anything, that’s why I call her Tini. She also loved a lot of other women, but I didn’t know that then.

Tini Bean

Tini wanted us to have a baby together. So I got a catalog of daddies and looked through it. I wanted to pick out the perfect daddy for my baby.

sperm donors

I finally found a good one. We had a lot in common. We both loved donuts.

donut

So one day I went to pick daddy up from the bank. He was much shorter than I imagined.

daddy

I took him out for lunch.

donut dinner

Then I buckled him into the passenger seat of my car and drove home. There was a lot of traffic so I used the car pool lane. The police man didn’t think daddy was a real person so I got a ticket for abusing the car pool lane.

copper

That night I took daddy out of the can. He was so little. And so cold.

daddy essence

tini's olive

martini

tini slurp

That was the end of daddy.”

“Does that mean you adopted me?” Lulu asked.

“Nope. I found you in a beanfield. Then me and Grandma Bean drove you all the way cross country to live in the City of Angels.”

Stay tuned for the next installment of The LezBeans, Episode 2, “No Dumping.” Written and illustrated by Layce Gardner.

 Making the world a happier place, one book at a time.

CLT new cover

Available to buy or borrow at Amazon!

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Comments on: "The LezBeans, Episode 1, “Meet the Beans”" (2)

  1. This story is glorious! I love your illustrations and the humor about a serious issue. You rock! ❤

  2. Thank you so much, Tomelover! xoxox
    There’s plenty more to come!

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