I guess I didn’t get the following memo:
Dear Women of America,
We are sending this memo to every woman in America as a public service announcement. We feel that it is great news for the female of the species and we know that you will rejoice as well. What is this spectacular news you ask?
The Fashion Industry has made it official:
Leggings are pants
That’s right! The Fashion Industry has declared that leggings—formerly known as ‘tights’ and classified as undergarments—are now considered to be outerwear. Specifically, pants.
Here are the benefits of wearing leggings as pants:
- Your cute boots will no longer be covered up by pants
- Unlike pants, leggings do not rumple under your boots and create unsightly bulges
- Dark leggings have a slimming effect
- Leggings with crazy patterns disorient onlookers, making it unable for them to see your saddle bags
- Leggings fit snugly and “iron” out your fat lumps and cellulite
- Leggings are much cheaper to buy than pants
- You don’t have to wear underwear—think of all the money you’ll save on laundry detergent!
So, join thousands of other women—young and old, fat and slim—as they enjoy the benefits of a freedom-from-pants lifestyle!
Stay tuned for our next memo when we reveal that bras are really shirts!
The Fashion Industry
Paid for by The Leggings Corporation
Making the world a happier place, one book at a time!
Hot off the press! And, I do mean HOT.
Skin: a sweet & steamy short story