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Frito Bandito

When I was in 2nd grade a fad swept through Alexander Hamilton Grade School in Commerce, Oklahoma. It was the Frito Bandito pencil topper/eraser. It came free in the bag if you bought a super big bag of Fritos corn chips. It looked like this:


I was one of the few kids in my class who didn’t have a Frito Bandito on top of my number 2 pencil. Karen Johnson (not her real name) teased me mercilessly by wearing her white go-go boots (which I also didn’t have) and making a big show out of using her Frito Bandito pencil topper to erase her math problems. I was so jealous I could chew nails and spit rust.

Go Go boots on

Then I had an idea.

Karen Johnson and her go-go boots ran outside for recess while I lagged behind. When the room was empty, I stole her Frito Bandito out of her desk. (I think Frito Bandito would approve. After all, he was a bandito.)

I kept him hidden in my pocket the rest of the day.

Karen cried when she couldn’t find him.

I ran all the way home with my prized possession. I bathed with Bandito. I ate with Bandito. I slept with Bandito. I had wonderful dreams about Bandito.

The next morning I suddenly realized I had a problem. I couldn’t take Bandito to school. I sat right next to Karen Johnson. She would notice if her Frito Bandito suddenly appeared on my pencil. What was I going to do?

I did the only thing I could do. During math, I turned in my seat and said quite loudly and dramatically, “What is that?”

I reached down under Karen’s desk and popped back up with Frito Bandito in my hand. I handed it over, glad to be rid of it. Karen squealed with joy and thanked me profusely for finding her pencil topper.

I learned a very important lesson that day: Never steal in your own neighborhood.

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Comments on: "Frito Bandito" (8)

  1. Sheri Campbell said:

    As always, making me laugh. I had an experience with a little girl who had a big doll house fully furnished. FULLY. Mine doll house had no stove, so I took hers. At least you figured how to return it and save face. Mother marched me up to this girls mother (a week later) and made me confess in front of several ladies. Cured me 100%. Scared me shitless too. Thanks Layce.

  2. jeannenicholas said:

    What did you eat that would make you think of this? This is hysterical. I am sure i stole something awesome (when I was young). But, dont really recall anything that awesomely tragic about stealing. I did recall the time I climbed up on the neighborhood church to prove I could do it and then couldn’t get down. The fire dept was called. My mother was sooooo embarrased. I have one of those families that if you are a child and don’t share your mom, aunts, uncles, will take it from you and give it to someone else. So thievery was not high on my agenda since it was useless.

  3. Fire trucks?! That is so awesome. I think I’ll steal it and write a blog about it! lol

  4. Barry craig said:

    I to stole a Frito Bandit eraser, but was foolish enough to get caught. Got paddled in front if the whole 2nd grade class. Put up with Bandit jokes the rest if the school year.

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