The phone rang and I answered it. It was my mother. The following is an excerpt of our conversation:
Mom: Have you seen that series on Netflix, The Tudors?
Me: The Tooters?
Mom: (slowly) Tu. Dors.
Me. Two doors?
Mom: It’s about the kings in England. Henry the eighth.
Me: I don’t get it. They called a show about Henry the Eighth Tooters? Did he have a flatulence problem?
Mom: No, silly. That was his last name.
Me: Henry the Eighth was named Henry Tooter?
Mom: (big sigh) I give up.
Me: Mom, hold on a minute. (covering the phone and yelling to Saxon) Saxon, do you know Henry the Eighth’s last name?
Saxon: I didn’t know he had a last name. I thought all royalty was like Cher. Or Madonna.
Me: Or Sting.
Saxon: What was Sting’s last name?
Mom: Are you there? Are you there?
Me: (still talking to Saxon) It was probably something like Smith. Sting Smith, that’s it.
Saxon and I laugh loudly.
Mom: (yelling into phone) Let me talk to Saxon.
I hand the phone over to Saxon.
Me: Mom wants to talk to you.
Saxon: (into phone) Hello, Judy.
Mom: I’m trying to tell Layce about the new show on Netflix. The Tudors.
Saxon: The Tooters?
Mom: Oh. My. God. (sighing) It’s about the Tudor Dynasty.
Saxon: Tooter died nasty? I don’t get it. Is this a joke?
Mom: (enunciating crisply) His name was Henry Tudor.
Saxon: That’s weird. I once knew a French kid named Henri Balzac. We called him Henry Ball Sack.
Mom: You two are perfect for each other. I’m hanging up now. Bye.
Saxon hands the phone back to me.
Me: What do you suppose that was all about?
Saxon: Who knows.