Making lesbians happy – one book at a time

The Tooters

The phone rang and I answered it. It was my mother. The following is an excerpt of our conversation:

Mom: Have you seen that series on Netflix, The Tudors?

Me: The Tooters?

Mom: Tudors.

Me: Tooters?

Mom: (slowly) Tu. Dors.

Me. Two doors?

Mom: It’s about the kings in England. Henry the eighth.

Me: I don’t get it. They called a show about Henry the Eighth Tooters? Did he have a flatulence problem?

Mom: No, silly. That was his last name.

Me: Henry the Eighth was named Henry Tooter?

Mom: (big sigh) I give up.

Me: Mom, hold on a minute. (covering the phone and yelling to Saxon) Saxon, do you know Henry the Eighth’s last name?

Saxon: I didn’t know he had a last name. I thought all royalty was like Cher. Or Madonna.

Me: Or Sting.

Saxon: What was Sting’s last name?

Mom: Are you there? Are you there?

Me: (still talking to Saxon) It was probably something like Smith. Sting Smith, that’s it.

Saxon and I laugh loudly.

Mom: (yelling into phone) Let me talk to Saxon.

I hand the phone over to Saxon.

Me: Mom wants to talk to you.

Saxon: (into phone) Hello, Judy.

Mom: I’m trying to tell Layce about the new show on Netflix. The Tudors.

Saxon: The Tooters?

Mom: Oh. My. God. (sighing) It’s about the Tudor Dynasty.

Saxon: Tooter died nasty? I don’t get it. Is this a joke?

Mom: (enunciating crisply) His name was Henry Tudor.

Saxon: That’s weird. I once knew a French kid named Henri Balzac. We called him Henry Ball Sack.

Mom: You two are perfect for each other. I’m hanging up now. Bye.

Saxon hands the phone back to me.

Me: What do you suppose that was all about?

Saxon: Who knows.


Comments on: "The Tooters" (2)

  1. Wendy Adams said:

    Easy to see why y’all books are so amusing!

  2. Priceless. “Tooter died nasty.” Bahahaha!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: