It may surprise you to know that I am not much for romance. My brain doesn’t work that way. Saxon is the true romantic in our family.
Saxon went to visit her family for a couple of weeks, leaving me and Emma behind. I mean not TheMartian kind of leaving behind, but… well, she went, we didn’t.
The first night she was gone, I climbed into bed all alone. I was planning on reading myself to sleep. I placed my head on my pillow and heard crinkle, crinkle.
“Yay!” I thought. “Saxon hid a bag of potato chips under my pillow as a parting gift.” I hurriedly threw the pillow off the bed but… it wasn’t potato chips. It was an envelope stuffed with notes. The notes were labeled: Day One, Day Two, Day Three… The instruction sheet said I was to read one note each night she was gone. Which I did, and the notes were really sweet, but still I was a little disappointed there weren’t any potato chips.
The first two days Saxon was gone I kept finding little love notes stuck around the house. On my toothbrush, on my towel, in the microwave… The love note she stuck in the shower freaked me out a bit. I stepped into the shower, naked of course, and turned around to find a pair of eyes drawn on a piece of paper under the words “I can see you and you’re beautiful.” Talk about creepy.
The next day I got an email from Amazon saying that my cow painting would be delivered in two days. I freaked out. I hadn’t ordered a cow painting! I went to Amazon and clicked and clicked and clicked until I cancelled the order.
Then it dawned on me. I bet Saxon ordered the painting. She knew I loved cows. I called her up:
“Hey, honey? Did you order a cow poster from Amazon?”
“Dammit, you weren’t supposed to see that. It’s your Valentine’s Day present,” Saxon said.
“I cancelled it.”
“Why? Didn’t you like it?”
“It was too much money to spend on a cow poster.”
“It’s a painting, not a poster,” Saxon said.
“It’s still too much.”
“It’s actually a really good deal for a painting.”
At that moment, I got a return reply from Amazon. I read it. “Dammit. Amazon says they can’t cancel the cow. It’s already been shipped. It’s going to be here tomorrow.”
“How about we say the cow painting is both our Valentine’s present? You know, half yours and half mine. That way you don’t have to buy me anything,” Saxon said.
“Okay, it’s a deal. The left half is yours, the right half is mine.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. You really need to work on being more romantic.”
Maybe Saxon is right. I do need to enhance my romance skillz. So I created my own little love note and put it in the shower for her to see when she gets home. On the note is a sketch of a cow’s face and under that are the words “I can see you, too. You’re prettier than a mooooovie star. ”
I hope she likes it.
February 3, 2016