I’ve been feeling a lot like Linus in that cartoon lately. I love mankind but I hate Trump. I hate Republicans. I hate white supremacists. I hate the Christians who hate me. I’ve been walking around with a very heavy, hate-filled heart ever since 11/9.
I hate hate. I want to get it out my heart, out of my life. But I didn’t have the slightest idea how to do that.
Then I saw a facebook friend of mine write on his status: “If you want clarity, go for a walk in the woods for three months.”
The problem is that I can’t go for a walk in the woods for three months. I have a child, a wife, a business to operate, books to write, and afghans to crochet. So, I did the next best thing. I got the flu.
I was down for the count for four days. I slept mostly. When I did get up, I drank soup and mused over my fevered dreams. After four days my fever broke and I had sudden clarity— About life. About Trump. About life with Trump.
To achieve clarity you must be removed from all outside influences. That means Facebook, TV, newspapers, and Twitter. You have to be occupied with the lower levels of Maslow’s heirarchy—like food, shelter, and whether or not you’re ever going to be able to get out of bed again.
When I finally got up and felt better, I realized several things at once.
1.) The world hadn’t stopped rotating
2.) Trump, as much as I hate him, had not rounded up anybody brown, Muslim, black, or gay.
3.) The white supremacists had not burned down my house.
I realized that all those things I had previously worried about were out of my control. Trump’s gonna do what Trump’s gonna do. I can’t stop him. I can’t lose sleep over those things that are out of my control. Instead, I need to focus on those things that are in my control.
Here are a few things I can do:
1.) Sign petitions.
3.) Be a voice of reason on social media.
5.) Write books
Writing books is my superpower. I write Lesbian Fiction. I think writing for lesbians, about lesbians, is something that is needed. Especially now. It’s the one place where we (by “we” I mean lesbians) can go to see ourselves. A lot of us live in places (and by “places” I mean red states) surrounded by so-called Christians and Trumpers who hate us. It’s very important to be able to see representations of ourselves so we know we’re not alone.
I figure as long as I have books to read and books to write, I’ll come out of this okay. We need to stick together right now. We need to support our lesbians sisters. Whether by reading, writing, or just being nice to one another. A lot of shit is going to hit the proverbial fan in the next four years and the only way we’ll get through this is by sticking together.
Anyway, that’s my moment of clarity. I hope you don’t have to get sick to have your own clarity.
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