Well, I did it. I just hit the deactivate button on my Facebook account. I’ll admit it feels a little scary. I’ve been active on Facebook for eight years now. There have been some good times, for sure. But holy hell, there’s been a lot more bad times. To keep my sanity, I finally deactivated.
Here’s the hard truth: I was addicted to Facebook. I spent probably one to two hours per day scrolling the newsfeed. I posted, I scrolled, I liked, I commented, and I even poked. I read about people’s lunches, vacations, book releases, kids, and even their bowel movements. (No, I’m not kidding!)
The upshot is that I wasted too much time on FB. It’s the same reason I got rid of my TV seven years ago. It was controlling my life!
I’ve been thinking about going off FB for about a year now, but just couldn’t quite bring myself to click that button . But two things happened recently that pushed me over the edge.
(Backstory: I am a Lesbian Fiction author and that is a very small niche to publish in. It doesn’t take long to get to know most of the other authors and even a lot of the readers.)
I received a private message from a reader last week. She had heard about one of my books in a Lesfic reading group on FB. She read the first four pages of my book and didn’t like it. So, she sent me a PM telling me so. She said she couldn’t read the rest of the book because I wrote about a character who was fat. She took offense because she was fat.
Well, I didn’t know what to say to that. Am I not supposed to ever write a fat character? Are there not fat people in the world? (me being one of them!) Plus, there is such a thing as a character arc, but I couldn’t get into that with her because she didn’t read the entire book.
I responded to her with a great big “shame on you!” Here’s the thing – she has ever right to not like my book. I am not silly enough to think all people will read and love my work. But, I will draw the line at her having the gall to write me and tell me she hates my work. I didn’t need to hear that kind of negativity. Writers (and all other artists) have very fragile egos. The last thing we need is hate mail. Plus, lesfic is a small niche. We’re supposed to be sisters-in-arms and support each other. That doesn’t mean we have to like every lesbian book written. But it does mean we should value all lesfic books.
Then today I went into a FB Lesfic group and was figuratively gangbanged by two Lesfic reviewers. The thread asked how we felt about ARC reviews. I responded that I didn’t trust ARC reviews because I know writers who give away books to hundreds of people just to get their review count up high on Amazon. Two reviewers—I won’t say their names here, but I will say that I’ve never read any reviews they’ve written—jumped me for commenting as I did. As it turns out, they get a lot of ARC copies to review and took my comment as an insult to their work. (It wasn’t meant to be. I never said a word about any reviewers.) I apologized anyway. But they continued jumping me. I must’ve said I was sorry five or six times – even though what I said had already been said on the thread by other people. I have no idea why they chose to jump me instead of the other posters. Maybe they didn’t like me to begin with. I have no idea. All I know is that I ended up in tears. And that made my wife feel bad and that upset our cat and now I’m writing a blog about it and…
And let’s not even talk about the Trump crap. I’ve expressed my opinion on my own timeline and suddenly had Trumpers (who I don’t know and am not friends with) posting hateful, hurtful messages. When did ‘liberal’ become a bad word? (But that’s another blog.)
Too much drama for me. All because of Facebook. And my FB addiction. That’s why I deactivated today.
I have a lot of friends I’ve made over the past eight years and I will miss them. However, I can always be reached at my email address: Layceandsaxon@yahoo.com
I hope to have two more hours a day to do things like read, write, and play with my family!
Nothing like starting a New Year’s resolution one week late!
Start off your new year with laughs and some warm fuzzies!