Making lesbians happy – one book at a time

Whoops, my bad…

I was watching a movie with Saxon and Emma when my phone rang. I paused the movie and answered, “Hello?”

“Hello, Ms. Gardner,” a man’s voice on the other end said. “I’m calling from your bank. I noticed you haven’t made your mortgage payment and it’s a week overdue. I’m calling to give you the chance to pay now. We will even accept your credit card if you prefer. Or  you can authorize us to debit your bank account directly.”

I covered the phone, looked over at Emma, and whispered, “Pay attention to what I’m about to say.” I then shouted into the phone: “Listen here you son-of-a-bitch! I already paid my mortgage and if you were really from my bank you would know that! You think you can just call me up and frighten me into paying for something I already paid for? You think I would really give you my credit card number? I’m not falling for that old scam. You are such a pitiful loser! Is this the only job you could get, calling up respectful Americans and trying to get them to give you their bank account number? I’m not stupid! You’re the one who’s stupid!”

“But, Ms. Gardner, please listen…”

“No, you listen to me you stupid, fucking moron! You really dialed the wrong number this time. I’m going to report you to the police. I hope your scam backfires and you end up in prison and you get buttfucked by a huge hairy man and you can’t walk for four days! How about that, huh?”

The caller hung up.

I turned to Emma. “See? That’s how you handle a phone scam.”

“Good job, Mama,” Emma said.

“Damn, that was sweet,” Saxon said.

I turned the movie back on, feeling plenty full of myself.

Ten minutes later, something began to bother me. There was a little niggle at the back of my brain.  So, I got up, went to my office, and looked at my checkbook.


I went back to the movie. I kept my mouth shut. No way was I going to admit what I had just done to that poor man who called.

Emma looked over at me and smiled knowingly. “You really did forget to pay the mortgage, didn’t you?”

Funny, funny, funny!


Click here to buy or borrow for FREE on Kindle Unlimited!

Comments on: "Whoops, my bad…" (21)

  1. Charlotte Demescko said:

    Sharing in my group! Hope you don’t mind?

    Sendt fra min iPad

    > Den 13. jan. 2017 kl. 18.32 skrev layce gardner : > > >

  2. I needed this laugh!! Oh, my!! And Emma is very smart. 😉

  3. Mary Anne said:

    Sounds like something i would do.

  4. Lolol….don’t you hate it when that happens? Sending cookies afterward usually helps me. 🙂

  5. OMG 😲 that just made my day 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  6. oopsie!

  7. OMG! I needed that. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  8. Hahahahahaha. Now I want to hear about the grovel fest next time you are in your bank. Sunglasses. Big hat. Maybe a wig. 😎

  9. That is a real crack up, thanks for the laugh. Hope the bank still talks to you when you go in there.

  10. I just read this to my wife. I am still laughing…okay can you say automatic payment. I never worry because I would totally forget if I didn’t have auto pay.

  11. Thanks for making me, LOL!
    With the state of our De-MOCK-rosy At this moment I so needed an angry rant that ends in laughter ; )

  12. This had me laughing so hard, my wife thought I lost my mind. Then she asked me if I made the car payment, because she got a similar call this week. I said, of course, she asked me to double check. I checked online and noticed I failed, so I immediately made it.

    Now it wasn’t just funny, but a helpful reminder.

    Thank you!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: