Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin and Republicans were jubilant over the senate confirmation of Betsy DeVos for Secretary of Education. “Finally!” screamed Gov. Fallin. “A woman after my own heart.”
Gov. Fallin intends to springboard the appointment of DeVos into action against the filthy Democrats who think science is a legitimate course of study . She plans to immediately replace all science textbooks in the public school system with a copy of the King James version of the Bible.
“Who needs science when we have God? We are going to teach our children the way the world was really created hundreds of years ago,” Fallin said. She rubbed her hands together in glee, adding, “And anybody who doesn’t like it will be arrested and sent to my husband’s prison.”
Republicans in Oklahoma are supportive of Gov. Fallin’s edict. “We are putting Christianity back where it belongs—in the schools. We’re putting the fun back in fundamentalism,” said Dale E. Bread, a Baptist preacher.
A spokesperson from Walmart spoke anonymously, “We got a letter from Gov. Fallin today. It said we had to move our Bibles over to the non-fiction section.”
As of the printing of this story, we couldn’t find any Democrats in the state to offer an alternative opinion.
Read the book Gov. Mary Fallin doesn’t want you to read
It’s only $2.99! Or FREE for Kindle Unlimited!