42 percent of women voted for Trump. They willingly voted for a man who treated women like objects, and who bragged about grabbing their pussy without their consent. He raped and beat his first wife. He’s had five children by three different women. And almost half of the women in America are okay with that.
I don’t entirely blame the rise of Trump on men. No, it’s not the angry white men that are solely responsible. I’ve known all along how much men hate me because I’m a woman. It’s the women who hate women that surprised me. Shocked me to my core. Over the past few weeks I’ve come to realize that women are misogynists, too. They are perhaps the worst perpetrators of misogyny.
Don’t believe me? Look at your TV. There are TV sitcoms where fat white boys have beautiful, stacked wives. Have you ever sat and watched one of these programs, laughing along with the rest of America?
Movies galore show older men with wives or girlfriends who are twenty to thirty years younger. And it doesn’t stop with movies, either. It happens in real life. Old men dump their wives of thirty years for a girlfriend their daughter’s age. I could blame the men for this, except it’s a woman who is dating him.
I read a Vanity Fair article where a woman in Trump’s tower restaurant was overheard saying something about how sexy Trump was. Wait a minute! Sexy? Trump? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? Then I realize that a lot of women probably really and truly think that. Think what you want of Melania, but you have to admit that she’s a beautiful woman. How did that overweight, rozacea-skinned, dim-witted, bad-dresser of a man snag a woman so beautiful? Money? Yes, money and power played into it, I’m sure. But not without Melania’s consent.
Women are the worst misogynists of all. They try to starve each other by using ads of models to compare their bodies to. They strap shoes on their feet that make it impossible to walk. They inject poisons into their bodies to remove wrinkles or make duck-lips or— as I think of them—Botox death masks.
Make-up is another example. We try to make our eyes bigger, our lips more kissable, our cheeks blush. How many times have I overheard another woman say, “She’d be so much prettier if she’d put on some make-up.” Or, “She should lose a few pounds.”
How many women have repeatedly voted against having control over their own bodies? They cite the fact that they’re Pro-Life, but is that the real reason? Nobody is asking a woman to have an abortion, they’re simply asking that each woman be able to control what happens to their own body, their own life. That is not a difficult concept to grasp. Maybe Pro-Life is simply a disguise for a deeper problem?
We can blame all this on men, of course, but even women who love women are not blameless. Lesbians are also misogynists. How many times do lesbians share photos of sexy women that are demeaning just to titillate our senses? Even in our own literature – lesfic – we applaud graphic sex scenes. Not romantic, sexy scenes, but GRAPHIC sex scenes.
Before we lay all the blame at the feet of men, perhaps we should look at the part we play in the misogyny game. Examine your own life. How much do you play into shaming your own body or the bodies of other women?
If the rise of Trump has taught us anything it‘s that 53 percent of white women are willing to get on their knees before a fat, ugly man and debase themselves and their gender.
If we are going to change misogyny, we need to start with ourselves.