Making lesbians happy – one book at a time

The Big Apple

Saxon, Emma and I went to New York City over Christmas vacation. We accomplished almost everything on our to-do list. We mastered the subway system, visited Central Park and China Town and the East Village, admired the windows on 5th Avenue, visited the Guggenheim, MoMA, The Museum of Natural History, and saw three Broadway plays—The Phantom of the Opera, Kinky Boots, and Wicked. (I put a photo album on my Facebook page if you’d like to take a look.)

I have to say that Kinky Boots is now my new favorite play. We lucked out and got to see the two original actors, Billy Porter and Stark Sands, come back and recreate their roles. It was amazing!

At MoMA, I was overwhelmed by Van Gogh’s Starry Night. It’s one of my favorite pieces of art ever, and I never dreamed that I would get to see it in person. It brought tears to my eyes. There was also an entire roomful of Picassos! There was a huge Andy Warhol depicting The Last Supper with several brand names silkscreened over it. That send a pretty clear message on the state of religion.

At the Guggenheim I was more into the building itself than the exhibit. While I was waiting on an elevator I saw a woman digging through her purse. She was probably in her thirties and quite pretty. She turned to me and asked, “How much does a ticket cost to get in?”

“Twenty-five for adults,” I said.

“Damn,” she said. “I only have twenty-two.”

I handed her three dollars. “Here, take this.”

She was so thankful she almost cried. She told me she would Paypal the three dollars back to me when she got it, but I told to just give it to a street musician instead. I felt good that I had helped somebody go see a museum- like it was my little way of helping educate America.

We actually went to Macy’s on Christmas Eve. That place was packed! Shoulder to shoulder packed. I lost Saxon for an hour and a half. By the time I found her I was having an anxiety attack and flop-sweating all over the place.

But Macy’s was just the beginning of my anxiety attack. We wandered the streets, packed together like cattle. I couldn’t help but think that Temple Grandin should make a more humane design for the NYC streets.

We were in the middle of Gap on Times Square when I realized my wallet was gone. I had it in my back pocket and it was gone!

I started to panic.

The last place I had seen it was at Abercrombie and Fitch. We headed that way. My heart was pounding, my pits and butt were sweating, and Saxon kept bleating in my ear, “Never put your wallet in your back pocket. Always have it in your front pocket. Never put it in your back pocket.”

I wanted to strangle Saxon.

Emma linebacked her way through the crowd, pulling us along behind her. Three blocks later we were back at Abercrombie and Fitch. I cornered a sweet, little salesgirl and said, “I think I lost my wallet in here about an hour ago.”

She said, “What color was it?”

I said, “Purple.”

She pulled my wallet out from under the counter and said, “It looks more hot pink to me.”

I was so ecstatic, I hugged the girl. I couldn’t believe that I had lost my wallet in the middle of New York City, in the middle of hundreds of thousands of people, and not a single person had stolen it.

I had two hundred dollars in cash in the wallet and even that was still there!

As we continued our journey through Times Square I realized that Karma had rescued my wallet. I had given that woman at the Guggenheim three dollars and had been paid back many times over.

I also realized that New York City is one of my favorite places on earth. I’m already making a list of things I want to do when we go back!

The final book of the True Heart series is here!


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